Z is for zucchini

I'm hopeless at them.

I always read with amusement the "how to get rid of zucchini" posts every summer. In the past decade, with zucchini planted maybe 4 of those years, I think I have managed, maybe... 3?

That's right-- three zucchinis. Not three plants. Three. Zucchinis.

It's one of the untold stories of the gardening world--the things that experienced, knowledgeable gardeners are bad at. I am hopeless at eggplant, beets, spinach, zucchini, and onions. No amount of reading, training, class-taking, soil-amending, researching, wintersowing, direct sowing, indoor sowing--you name it I've tried it, seems to be able to get consistent harvests from me on these plants.

Notoriously difficult plants like pumpkins and leeks, corn, cabbage, rosemary? No problem. They do just fine.

Mind you, the eggplant seedlings that I grew are in gardens all over Chicago, yielding dozens of fruits per plant. Mine have managed fewer than one each--6 aubergine plants, 5 fruits so far. I did manage to get 80 onions this year, after the 3rd planting finally took. Beets, though. I've planted 4 entire seed packets. I have 6 beets out there, and they're of the "baby" sort. If I ran a fancy restaurant, the type where a dish=one bite, and I only made enough for the first 3 diners, I'd be golden.

And then there's zucchini. I love zucchini. I can cook a LOT of zucchini. Stir fry, lasagna, bread, salads, pickles. And yet I just don't seem to be able to grow it.

Next time you walk into someone's gorgeous garden, think about what you don't see. Everyone can't grow something.

And finally--thank you so much Suzy Morris, for this very challenging challenge. I think I managed every letter, if not every day. Who's with me for the next challenge-- a No Buy October!

Y is for Yellow

From the garden, spring through fall.

X is for Xan

I have this funny idea, that people don't remember me. When I encounter someone I've met only a few times, I always put out my hand and state my name, just in case.

Which is really rather funny, as I'm probably one of the more memorable people you'll meet. From my mixed-race family, to my outsized personality, to my pink hair, to my funny name I'm fairly out of the ordinary.

Or make that eXtraordinary.

As are we all.

W is for Work

In retrospect, it would have been a nice pairing to make V for Vacation as, despite the posts that opened my Alphabet in August, I never take one.

As a freelancer and part timer, not to mention a gardener, "vacation" at one job is usually used for special projects at another. If one job goes on hiatus (for instance, the ice rink closes, as it does 4 times a year, for 1 to 2 weeks at a time), rather than being able to take vacation, one of my other jobs probably just has a big job due.

Sometimes I take vacation time at one job to do the big task at another.

But in some ways that's okay. Work is one of my favorite things to do on vacation--work in the garden, or a week spent working at my art, or doing a rehab project in the house. I like to "work" at my writing. I don't think I could take one of those vacations where you lie around on a beach or a hammock all day, doing nothing. It would drive me insane. Maybe a day, maybe two. But two weeks?

Give me something to work on!

V is for Victory Garden

I'll let my good friend LaManda Joy handle this one:

A Victory Gardens primer

T is for Tomato and U is for Update

T is also for twofer, and for thank god because this is really exhausting.

I'm participating in two tomato growing projects this year:

• I'm saving 3 kinds of tomato seeds for the Populuxe seed bank- Bramki (a very meaty slicing tomato), Ferris Wheel (slicers) and Blondkopfchen (a golden cherry)
• I'm growing German Pink tomatoes for the One Heirloom Project

I also work on adapting tomatoes to my own backyard. I've got my stalwart Black Krim (on its 10th year now and looking great); on their 3rd year- Stupice, and in just their second two new varieties- Goldman's Italian American, and San Marzanos (from seedlings developed by Chicago Botanic Garden), plus I'm trying to decide if I want to keep going with the Heirlooms Golds (don't know the variety). They had a tough year.

Bramki: A real keeper, as I've said before. I've got a good start on seed saving, but would like one more good looking fruit before I call it a day. These got a little stressed from the horrible Blondkopfchen next door (see next), but it's a killer tomato-big, juicy, delicious and also very beautiful.

Blondkopfchen. Never. Again. Hideously blight-prone, leggy, slow. Flavor nice, but nothing to replace a good Sungold. I saved seeds, but I'm loathe to add them to the seed bank because I don't want anyone to grow these. I finally took it out because it was infecting the nearby Bramkis which I don't want to lose. Unfortunately, I also had to take out the sungold, not because it was blighty, but it just stopped setting flowers, so I had all this leggy growth and no fruit. Weird.

Ferris Wheel: Nice, but not great flavor, tendency to very large, easily bruised fruit. Reasonably prolific considering it's not adapted to local conditions. But I don't think I'll be able to devote space to this guy again.

The German Pink is still trying to keep up, and has finally managed to set a fruit. Just one.

S is for Shortcut

So there you are.

Two hundred and twenty tomatoes, all ripe at once.

And a giant project due at work.

As much as you would like to, you can't spend all day seeding, peeling and rendering tomatoes, but they're going to go bad. But you can make a quick sauce-- a little messier, a little off-the cuff, but way faster than those jars of perfect paste you've been dreaming of.

Ready? Don't tell Martha.

Quick tomato sauce
per serving:
1 pound of whole tomatoes, roughly cut
1/4 cup fresh or 1 T dried oregano and parsley
salt, pepper to taste
If it's going to be around for a while, add about 1 teaspoon rice vinegar or lemon juice per serving

A blender.

Grind away folks. You can use it right away, or freeze it. You can take it out later to make a proper paste as you normally would, and then can it. (You'll have to run it through a food mill because it will have the seeds and skins in it.) I've used this as is to do sauteed chicken and chops, on spaghetti, and in lasagna.