I need a phone.
Mind you, I have a phone. In fact, several phones. I have a cell phone, as does my son, my daughter, and my husband. Then there's "Phone Henge," an archeological site of marginally functional cell phones that we mine for plugs, headsets, and exchanges. They need to be recycled, but recycling phones is another errand, plus my brother-in-law never lets us get rid of electronic items because he's convinced the evil-doers are out there just waiting to get into the memory chips and get numbers from old bank accounts, from which they will reconstruct our lives and steal all our money.
I also have two truly ancient old-fashioned wired phones and a wireless. They were all purchased for a couple of bucks at the resale shop. I consider wired phones a necessity. I always have phone service in emergencies, because the wired sets don't need either the house electricity or a cell phone grid. They work even when the power goes out. This is the number I give to stores when they won't accept "you don't need my phone number" or "000-000-0000."
But there isn't a phone in the kitchen anymore, because the resale specimen that was there died. When the phone rings and I'm in the kitchen, I have to go two whole rooms over to answer it.
I understand there are people who feel this way about tvs.
Peppery shortbread cheese crackers
3/4 cup whole wheat flour
1/4 cup corn meal
4 oz. of cheese (cheddar, gruyere or Parmesan) grated
6 T (3/4 stick) of unsalted butter, cut into pieces
about 3 T heavy cream
seasoning: 1 teaspoon each white and green peppercorns, 1 1/2 teaspoons coarse sea salt, ground together, 1-2 teaspoons pepper flakes, or use the pre-mixed seasoning of your choice
Mix all ingredients except cream in a food processor; run the machine until dough forms a clump, adding the cream a little at a time to get a nice maleable texture. (I only have a 3 cup foot processor, so I had to divide the dough into thirds). Form into three 1 1/2 x 8" logs, roll in plastic wrap or wax paper and place in freezer until firm (a couple of hours). Slice into 1/4" or thinner rounds. Only have one log out at a time; leave the others in the freezer until you're ready to use them. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
Update, Feb 27: Made these again using a pepper-jack cheese instead of the seasoning. Also good.
16 hours ago